FREE AT LAST FREE AT LAST

I was at the gym with my jovial self when BREAKING NEWS came on the tv. The american journalists were finally set free after almost 5 months of captivity in N.Korea.Praise God! It was high drama on the tv so i wanted to get on an ellptical that was close to the tube i decided to mosey over by this older gentleman who is always at the gym sweating to the oldies i secretly call him Charlton Heston cause he looks like him. As i sauntered behind him i was hit by a wall of stench that reeked of pastrami, i wasnt sure if he was farting it or burping it or if it was just coming out of his pores but it stunk! I thought i could suffer through it that it was something that would just waft away . I did give the ol college try and at least stepped on the elliptical but was overcome by the odor. I couldnt stop staring at C.H. wondering what the fudge did he eat 10 burgers from CROWN all in one sitting? Then i thought maybe its St. Pattys day and he is celebrating early but he was dressed all in magenta and i think the main dish is corn beef hash it might be different than pastrami. As i was holding in my breath i searched around and found another EFX machine far away from

Charlton Heston aka Pastrami man. While i was watchin the gripping news of the 2 news journalist that were pardoned and sent back home i started bawling as Euna Lee got off the plane and swallowed her precious lil girl in her toothpick arms. I couldnt stop crying at the whole event. i didnt even care who saw me, i let the tears fall from my cheeks and stain that EFX machine like that old commercial of the lone indian on his horse bawling cause America is a dirty cesspool. I honestly didnt think they were coming home. Pres Clinton still has it.

He was as mute as an old migrant worker out in the fields when they started the press coverage. My emotions were running, i can only imagine how the journalists families felt during that whole ordeal. i dont think i would of even made it 5 months. I woulf of made it maybe a few days then i would of offed myself. Hopefully i would of remembered to have worn my vial of cyanide, or i would of made a feeble attempt of slowly sliceing my wrists with dull chop stix. After the press conference was over i gathered myself and was nearing the end of my cardio when another BREAKING NEWS story came in this one was a shooting at a spa fitness center! The person was a wacko gunman who worked out at the gym. I immediatly looked around for Charlton, my eyes were scanning the area like i was an owl perched up on a tree looking for its prey but i felt like any minute I would be the prey if i didnt spot pastrami out first. I tried to sniff him out but i found him on the stationary bike peddaling his scent away. I gazed down at his side to make sure he wasnt packing heat, you can never be too sure these days. He was clear,phew. Again i was glued to the tube , some loner who could never get a girl and hated that women could bench press more than he could decided to go on a shooting rampage at his local gym. I think like 3 people died then he did himself in. I couldnt help but think any minute the same thing was going to happen to me while i was working out on the EFX, i was wondering if other people thought the same so i was looking around at the other members to see if they also had the fear of God in their eyes and none of them seemed the slightest bit interested in what was unfolding on the t.v. It was like they were ignoring it on purpose ! People were lookin at the ground, looking at their manicures straightening out their clothes....they were scared to pay attention in fear that any minute someone would start blasting through our gym doors. It sucks when u cant go to ur local gym or trespass across country lines doing a news story with out being in fear of death!!!!!

**** just a lil foot note i do like to write about the gym and how it and the people drive me nuts at times but in no way do i practice or condone the act of going on a shooting rampage at any gym let alone the one i officially attend

**** this is an official disclaimer

SOMETHING IS ROTTING IN MY CAR

EVER SINCE THE 4TH MY CAR REEKS IT SMELLS LIKE THERE IS SOMETHING ROTTING INSIDE, I THOUGHT IT WAS AN OLD SHIRT I HAD BARFED ON MONTHS AGO THAT I HAVE YET TO THROW OUT BUT ITS NOT. IM NOT A GOOD CLEAN CAR KEEPER, I NEVER HAVE BEEN AND I HATE IT CAUSE I FEEL GOOD WHEN I HAVE A NICE CLEAN CAR TO DRIVE IN. I REMEMBER WHEN I HAD MY FIRST CAR IT WAS A DATSUN UNK MODEL. YOU COULDNT MISS IT THO CAUSE MY GPA THOUGHT HE WOULD BE FUNNY AND SPRAY PAINT MY NAME IN BLUE ON THE DRIVER SIDE DOOR , MY CAR WAS WHITE. I HAD TO DRIVE IT I DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE AND WHEN U FIRST START DRIVING I GUESS IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT THE CAR LOOKS LIKE. I TRIED IN VAIN TO KEEP THAT CAR CLEAN TOO BUT DIRTINESS ALWAYS WON. I DIDNT HAVE AC BECAUSE I WAS BROUGHT UP THAT WE WAY, WE WERE WETBACKS AND BY DAMN WERE WE GONNA LIVE UP TO THAT NAME LITERALLY. ONE DAY I WAS DRIVING WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED DOWN IT WAS A HOT SUMMER DAY, WHEN I HEARD SHOTS FIRED. IT WAS ROSE PARK SO IT WASNT OUT OF THE ORDINARY TO HEAR THAT BUT IT SOUNDED SO CLOSE I THOUGHT I HAD BEEN HIT, I LOOKED AROUND FELT "MY NECK MY BACK" TO SEE IF I HAD BLOOD TRICKLING DOWN ANYWHERE I LOOKED AT MY SEAT FOR BULLET HOLES....NOTHING. I THOUGHT MAYBE I HAD A FLAT TIRE OR HIT SOMETHING SO I PULLED OVER TO SEE IF I HAD RAN OVER A SMALL CHILD OR AN ELDELRY PERSON AND CHECKED THE OUTSIDE OF MY CAR STILL NOTHING I LOOKED TO SEE WHAT COLOR I WAS WEARING HOPING IT WASNT RED OR BLUE FOR FEAR I WAS IN THE WRONG HOOD OR BARRIO. I WAS PERPLEXED TO SAY THE LEAST. I CHALKED IT UP TO DIVINE INTERVENTION AND WENT ON MY MERRY WAY. MIND U THIS WAS DURING THE SUMMER TIME AND WITH NO AC MY CAR COULD GET LIKE AN OVEN. THE NEXT DAY I DECIDED TO GO FOR A DRIVE WHILE I WAS OUT ON THE ROAD I CAME TO A STOP LIGHT WENT TO STEP ON THE BRAKES AND IT FELT LIKE SOMETHING WAS BLOCKIN IT SO I COULDNT PRESS IT DOWN, I COULDNT STOP!!!!!! I LOOKED DOWN AT MY FEET AND SAW THIS ROUND SILVER THING UNDERNEATH THE PEDAL SO WITH MY QUICK THINKING AND CAT LIKE MOVES I BENT DOWN WHILE DRIVING AND SWATTED THAT THING AWAY FROM THE PEDAL SO I WAS ABLE TO APPLY THE BRAKES SAFELY AND COME TO A COMPLETE STOP, PHEW THAT WAS ANOTHER CLOSE CALL I ALMOST HAD TO CAREEN INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC. I GUESS AS I WAS COMING DOWN THE HILL THE LOOSE GROCERIES I HAD IN THE BAG BEHIND MY SEAT TOPPLED OUT AND ROLLED UNDER MY SEAT UNDER THE PEDAL, BACK IN THE DAY CARS DID THAT. NEEDLESS TO SAY I HAD TO SIT AND COLLECT MYSELF FOR A MIN HAVING A BRUSH WITH DEATH 2 DAYS IN A ROW TAKES A LOT OUT IN A GIRL. WHEN I FINALLY GOT HOME I GOT IN THE BACK SEAT TO GATHER UP ALL MY JUNK WHEN I NOTICED SOMETHING SO GROTESQUE ,I SCREAMED IN HORROR. IT LOOKED LIKE WHITE HUGE PORTABELLO MUSHROOMS WERE GROWING OUT OF THE CARPET ON THE FLOOR OF MY BACK SEAT! THEY WERE BIG AND ROUND WITH THIS DOUGHLIKE CONSISTENCY I THINK THEY WERE BREATHING. I KNEW I HAD LEFT FOOD AND STUFF IN MY CAR FOR MONTHS ON END BEFORE BUT THIS LOOKED LIKE IT WAS A LIVING ORGANISM WHAT IF IT HAD ECOLI. SO AS I WAS SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER I LOOKED CLOSER AND REALIZED WHAT IT WAS......BISCUITS

FROM PILSBURY. APPARENTLY THEY HAD POPPED OUT OF THE TUBE DUE TO THE EXTREME HEAT AND HAD BEEN BAKING FOR DAYS IN MY HOT VEHICLE . NOW I KNOW WHAT THE SHOTS FIRED NOISE WAS. THE THING THAT HINDERED MY ABILITY TO APPLY THE BRAKES IN MY CAR WAS ALSO THE TUBE THAT HELD THE DOUGH. I HAD A BRUSH OF DEATH BY BREAD. I KNOW U SHOULD STAY AWAY FROM CARBS BUT COME ON. I HAD TO LAUGH AT MYSELF CAUSE ONLY STUFF LIKE THIS HAPPENS TO ME. IF I WAS STRANDED IN THE DESERT I WOULD OF BEEN A NICE SNACK BUT I ENDED UP THROWING IT AWAY I HAD TO SHOW MY FRIENDS HOW COOL IT WAS THO HOW MANY PEOPLE DO U KNOW THAT CAN BAKE THINGS ON THE FLOOR OF THEIR CAR? IF ONLY I HAD A PAT O BUTTER............

OHBYETHEWAY

YOU ARE PROB WONDERING WITH ALL THESE WORKOUTS IM DOING HOW MUCH WEIGHT I MUST HAVE LOST. WELL I DONT LIKE TO TOOT MY OWN HORN AND I DONT LIKE TO TALK NUMBERS, I REALLY DONT WANT ANYONE TO BE JEALOUS. BUT IF U SEE ME U WILL THINK I HAVE HAD MAJOR SURGERY OR WAS ON A FAMOUS REALITY SHOW LETS JUST PUT IT THAT WAY. I HAVE GOT RID OF MOST OF MY CHINS. IM CURRENTLY IN JUST ONE AREA CODE NOW. YOU NO LONGER NEED TO ROLL ME IN FLOUR. I HAVE DONATED MY CLOTHES TO THE LOCAL BOYSCOUT TROOP FOR THEIR CAMPING NEEDS, TENTS TARPS ETC. I NO LONGER NEED TO SHOP AT COSTCO FOR JUST MY OWN GROCERIES. MY BELT IS NOW BEING USED AS A JUMP ROPE FOR THE LOCAL GRAMMAR SCHOOL. I NO LONGER HAVE CANKLES OR TRUNKLES AND CAN WEAR REG SOCKS. I CAN WEAR MY BRACELET AS A NECKLACE. WHEN I LAY ON THE BEACH NO ONE YELLS "QUICK THROW IT BACK IN THE WATER" THINKIN IM A WHALE. I CAN SEE MY FEET. PEOPLE NO LONGER THINK IM WEARIN MY INNER TUBE ON THE INSIDE OF MY SWIMSUIT WHEN I GO FOR A DIP IN THE POOL. WHEN I TAKE A BATH I STILL HAVE AN ABUNDANCE OF WATER IN THE TUB IT DOESNT DISAPPEAR. I COULD PROB GO ON AND ON . BELIEVE ME YOU WOULDNT EVEN RECOGNIZE ME .

WORK IT WORK IT

HI ALL, YESTERDAY I DECIDED TO RUN FOR MY CARDIO IM SORRY WALK FOR MY CARDIO AND MAYBE GET SOME RUNNING IN. I WANTED TO CHANGE THINGS UP CAUSE THAT IS WHAT "THEY" SAY U SHOULD DO. I WALKED ON THE TREAD FOR ABOUT AN HOUR AND I DIDNT EVEN BURN HALF AS MANY CALORIES AS I DO ON THE EFX MACHINE. I RAN FOR ABOUT 10 MIN AND WAS THAT A CHORE. I WAS BREATHING LIKE I HAD A SEVERE CASE O ASTHMA. I WAS LUCKY TO GET 10 MIN IN. EVERYTIME IM ON A TREADMILL I ALWAYS HAVE A FEAR IM GOING TO FALL AND SHOOT OFF INTO A WALL OR ANOTHER PERSON LIKE WHAT U SEE ON YOU TUBE. IF THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME I WOULD NEVER GO BACK TO THAT GYM AGAIN. MY MEMBERSHIP DAYS WOULD BE OVER. WHEN I DO RUN I LIKE TO RUN ALONE WHERE NO ONE CAN SEE ME LIKE OUT AND ABOUT OR IN MY HOME CAUSE I LIKE TO WEAR THE SPANDEX TYPE SHORTS SO THAT I WONT HAVE A FRONT MELVIN THE WHOLE TIME AND IT IS WAY MORE COMFY. I ALSO DONT FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO START A FIRE ANY MINUTE WITH THE RUBBING OF MY INNER THIGHS. ONE TIME I WORE WAY TOO SHORT OF SHORTS AND DECIDED TO GO RUNNING CUZ I WANTED TO SHOW OFF MY OH SO MUSCULAR LEGS BOY WAS THAT A MISTAKE I GOT CHAFED SO BAD I HAD TO WALK LIKE I JUST GOT DONE RIDING A HORSE. SO SINCE I DONT DARE TO WEAR SPANDEX OUT IN THE OPEN I JUST WORE REG BBALL SHORTS YESTERDAY. IF U HAD A FRONT VIEW OF ME IT WOULDNT BE A PRETTY SIGHT ALL U WOULD SEE WAS PERMANENT FRONT WEDGIE, IT WAS LIKE MY SHORTS WERE ALL BUNCHED UP IN THE FRONT AND OF COURSE I CANT SIT AND DIG IT OUT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE SO I TRY TO SLYLY PULL DOWN ON MY SHORTS OR SPREAD MY LEGS OPEN A LIL WIDER LIKE IM RUNNING OVER A HURDLE.AS I WAS ON THE TREADMILL OF COURSE I HAD TO SURVEY THE AREA AND WATCH PEOPLE. I WISH MY JOB WAS JUST WRITING ABOUT PEOPLE AND I GOT PAID FOR IT. AND IT WOULD BE JUST MY THOUGHTS AND MY POINT OF VIEW ONLY IT DIDNT HAVE TO BE RIGHT OR WRONG OR EVEN GOOD, I WONDER IF THEY HAVE ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN AMERICA HMMMMMMMMMMM

ANYWAYS I NOTICED THIS POOR OBESE LOOKING POCAHANTAS IN FULL ON SWEATS AND HER HAIR WAS PITCH BLACK BRAIDED TO HER SHOULDERS POOR GIRL. I GIVE HER PROPS. SHE WAS ON THE TREAD GOING SO SLOW IT WAS LIKE SOMEONE HAD POURED MOLASSES ON HER OVER BAKED BREAD FEET. BLESS HER POOR ENLARGED HEART. SHE GAVE IT A GOOD GO SHE PROB GOT UP TO A 2.0 SPEED AND WAS ON THERE A GOOD 15-20 MIN. SHE GAVE ME INSPIRATION. WHILE SHE WAS ON THE TREAD SOME SKINNY SIZE 2 BITCH CAME BOPPIN ON THE TREAD RIGHT NEXT TO HER WITH HER LONG FLOWING BLONDE HAIR I THINK SHE WAS RUNNING AT A 10.0 SHE JUST GLIDED ALONG WITH THE FLOW. MEANWHILE IM BEHIND HER TRYING TO KEEP UP MY PACE I PROB LOOKED LIKE THE HUNCH BACK OF NOTRE DAME BARELY RUNNING WHILE DRAGGIN ONE LEG BEHIND ME HUFFIN AND PUFFIN WITH MY SHORTS ALL BALLED UP IN MY CROTCH GOOD THING THERE WASNT ANY YOUNG CHILDREN IN THE AREA THEY WOULD OF BEEN SCARED! I WAS ABLE TO FINISH MY FULL HOUR BUT BOY I WAS AS SPENT AS MICHAEL JACKSONS MILLIONS. THAT LIL BIT O RUNNING WORE MY ASS OUT. I WENT AND DID MY STRETCHING AND ABS AS USUAL AND WAS PLANNING ON DOING WEIGHT TRAINING ON MY LEGS BUT I GOT ON THE MACHINE AND WAS POOPED LIKE AN OLD SCATFEST. I DID ONE SET AND STOPPED CAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO EMBARASS MYSELF. MY LEGS WERE SHAKIER THAN MICHAEL J FOXES. I DECIDED TO CALL IT A WRAP (LIKE VANILLA ICE TRIED TO DO IN THE EARLY 90'S) PEACE OUT.

NO MO EXFO

TODAY I THOUGHT I WOULD WRITE ABOUT EXFOLIATING SCRUB. I HAVE TO SAY IM NOT A BIG FAN OF IT. USUALLY FOR CHRISTMAS AND MY BDAY I GET ALOT OF BODY WASH AND LOTIONS AND POTIONS WHICH I THINK ARE RE-GIFTS BUT THATS OK. NEEDLESS TO SAY I DONT REALLY BUY ALOT OF BODY WASH CAUSE I USUALLY HAVE A TON OF IT. MY FAVE IS ANYTHING BY BATH AND BODY WORKS. WE RAN OUT OF BODY WASH THE OTHER DAY SO I WENT TO MY STASH TO GET A NEW ONE, I DIDNT REALLY TAKE A CLOSE LOOK AT IT UNTIL I GOT IN THE SHOWER AND NOTICED IT WASNT JUST NORMAL BODY WASH IT WAS EXFOLIATING BODY WASH. IN MY MIND I KNEW I WASNT A FAN BUT I COULDNT REALLY REMEMBER WHY UNTIL I POURED SOME OVER MY BODY AND REALIZED IT WAS THOSE DAMN BEADS THAT I HATED. I GUESS THE BEADS ARE SUPPOSED TO EXFOLIATE UR SKIN BUT I WONDER IF THE MAKERS KNEW THAT THOSE BEADS ARENT GOOD FOR SCRUBING OUT "DOWNSTAIRS" IF U KNOW WHAT I MEAN. IT DOESNT SAY ON THE BOTTLE USE ON UPPER BODY ONLY. BEFORE I KNEW WHAT THOSE BASTARDS COULD DO TO A WOMAN I ACTUALLY DID WASH MY NUNU WITH THE SCRUB AND BOY WAS THAT A MISTAKE. I THOUGHT I GAVE MY UNDER CARRIAGE A GOOD RINSING BUT LATER ON IN THE DAY I WAS WALKING AROUND I FELT LIKE I HAD CROTCH CRICKETS. OF COURSE I COULDNT SIT AND ITCH IT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE EVEN THO MEN HAVE IT MADE CAUSE THEY CAN REARRANGE THEIR FURNITURE IN FRONT OF ANYONE AND ANYWHERE THEY PLEASE. WOMEN ARE HELD TO A MUCH HIGHER STANDARD. IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE PLAYED NUDE IN THE SAND FOR HOURS AND THAT I HAVE TO TAKE ANOTHER SHOWER QUICK. SO NOW WHEN I INADVERTANTLY USE THE EXFO SCRUB I HAVE TO USE A DIFFERENT SOAP FOR BOTH THE FRONT AND THE BACK DOOR. THE SAME GOES FOR THE FACE WASH THAT HAS EXFO BEADS IN IT. IM AN IDIOT AND EITHER I FORGET THAT THE BEADS ARE BAD NEWS OR I MISS READING IT ON THE BOTTLE. I WILL POUR IT IN MY HANDS AND SLATHER IT ALL OVER MY FACE SCRUBBING OUT MY EYES AND NECK AND WHOLE FACE IN GENERAL THEN IT HITS ME "THOSE FUCKING BEADS" IM BLIND! I HURRY AND RINSE IT OUT BUT IT NEVER FAILS I DONT EVER GET THEM ALL OUT AND I CANT STOP BLINKING FOR THE REST OF THE DAY. CAN U IMAGINE IF I USED BOTH THE FACE AND BODY SCRUB AT THE SAME TIME, I WOULD BE IN A WORLD OF HURT. SO IF U WOULD LIKE TO PUT A BAN ON EXFOLIATING ANYTHING GET WITH ME AND LETS START A CAMPAIGN. NO MO EXFO!!!!!!!

THE GYM

i dont know why i like to write about the gym i guess cause it really really entertains me, and im not even talking about the workout part. there are some very interesting characters. one man i will call "mitts" he is an older gentleman pretty physically fit but he wears this headband that is ridiculous it looks like his wife made it with an old oven mitt she found in the kitchen, it is the same puffy material that is enclosed with velcro, he has a few diff colors. he also carries a kitchen towel with him and a huge 44 ounce cup that doesnt even fit in the holders of the cardio machines and when he worksout beside me im always waitin for it to topple over....then there is this 50something lady who is very physically fit my nickname for her is "aerosmith" because that is the music i picture her listening to on her headphones, she is always on the ellipitcal machine and she always gets in a zone and sways on the machine back and forth...she leans back so far i always think she is going to either fall off or she is going to make the stationary thing actually move across the joint. she is very social a lot of older men go up to her and converse. another guy that i notice i call "bedhead" for the obvious reasons he looks like he just got up and went to gym with out even touching a comb. his hair and clothing is very disheveled, he usually wears sweats that im sure he has worn to bed and his tshirt is always a size too small. i really do think he has some mental issues not to be rude. he gets on the stationary bike u can see the crack of his ass so i dont think he wears underware and while he is on the bike he goes so slow that the machine reads pedal faster because it is not registering, he is too busy looking at aerosmith. they have papertowels and a spray bottle so u can spray the towel then wipe off ur machine well when he is done he pulls out a small crumpled tissue from his pocket and wipes the seat but he is never on a piece of equip more than 10 min. there is a a guy that i couldnt help but notice last week he was very large prob 4plus but would stay on the elipitcal for like an hour i was secretly proud of that lard ass, he wore the same clothes every day a purple shirt with cut off sleeves he didnt wear anything underneath it cause i could see all his jelly rolls through the arm hole, he had blue shorts im sure he got from kirkhams and his ankles were beyond cankles they were like tree trunks (trunkles), his socks were so stretched out im sure he could only wear them once then they would b no good after that. i was impressed with him however because he was working it but i have only seen him that one week and havent seen him since he is prob planting his legs in someones yard somewhere poor thing
to be continued

EMBARRASSING MOMENTS

I THOUGHT I WOULD REMINISCE ABOUT A TIME WHEN I HAD AN EMBARRASSING MOMENT AT THE GYM. THIS WAS YEARS AGO WHEN I WORKED OUT AT LIFESTYLES. BELIEVE OR NOT I USED TO RUN MILES ,WELL THE MOST I GOT UP TO WAS 6 BUT IT WAS SOMETHING I WAS PROUD OF, NOW I CAN BARELY RUN 20 MIN. THERE WAS A ROW OF TREADMILLS THAT FACED THE FRONT OF THE GYM SO THEY WERE PRETTY OUT IN THE OPEN AND YOU COULD SEE EVERYONE THAT WALKED IN. THE GYM WAS USUALLY CROWDED AND PEOPLE HAD TO WAIT IN LINE FOR THE TREADMILL AT TIMES. THERE WAS THIS HOT GUY THAT I ALWAYS HAD MY EYE ON HE WAS BUFF AND WAS HARDCORE AT WORKING OUT. HE WAS ONE OF THOSE GUYS THAT CARRIED AROUND A GALLON OF WATER WITH THEM AT ALL TIMES AND WORE WRISTSTRAPS, TOTAL FAKEBAKER HE WAS PROB ON ROIDS BUT HOT NONE THE LESS. I WAS WAY TOO SHY TO EVER TALK TO HIM. ANYWAYS I WAS ON THE TREAD RIGHT IN FRONT RUNNIN MY HEART OUT WHEN I SAW THE HOTTIE WALK IN. I THOUGHT I WOULD STEP UP MY GAME AND CRANK UP MY SPEED SO MAYBE HE WOULD NOTICE ME AND MY SVLETE BODY GLIDING ON THE MACHINE. ANY CARDIO I DO I SWEAT LIKE A WHORE IN CHURCH, I MEAN IT DRIPS DOWN MY FACE AND ONTO THE FLOOR. I WAS NEARING THE END OF MY RUN WHEN I NOTICED THE HOTTIE MOTIONING TO ME! I THOUGHT IT LOOKED LIKE HE WANTED ME TO JUMP OFF THE TREAD AND JUMP RIGHT INTO HIS BULGING ARMS BUT COMMON SENSE TOLD ME OTHER WISE. I WAS REALLY SWEATING I COULDNT KEEP UP WITH WIPING IT OFF MY FACE SO I KINDA LICKED MY LIPS ,WHEN I NOTICED A PECULIAR TASTE , I FIGURED IT WAS JUST THE TASTE OF MY SALTY SWEAT. THE HOTTIE WAS STILL STARING BUT I DECIDED TO BE COY AND NOT LOOK BACK AT HIM. EITHER HE WAS REALLY DIGGIN ME OR HE WANTED TO USE THE TREADMILL I WAS ON WHEN I WAS FINISHED EITHER WAY I WAS KINDA SHY. I KEPT WIPING MY FACE WITH MY ARM SINCE I DIDNT HAVE A TOWEL WITH ME, BOY WAS I HAVING A HARD WORK OUT . I DID NOTICE HOWEVER SOME RED MARKS ON MY ARM I THOUGHT IT LOOKED LIKE I HAD CUT MYSELF SOME HOW. I GOT OFF THE TREAD AND AS I PASSED THE HOTTIE I TOLD HIM "ALL YOURS" FIGURING THAT WAS WHAT HE WAS STANDIN THERE FOR. I DECIDED TO GO THE RESTROOM AND FIGURE OUT WHAT WAS ON MY ARM. AS I TURNED THE CORNER TO LOOK INTO THE MIRROR TO MY UNGODLY HORROR I HAD A HUGE BLOOD RED MUSTACHE THAT LOOKED LIKE IT HAD SLID ACROSS MY FACE......I HAD A BLOODY NOSE!!!!! THERE WAS BLOOD ON MY SHIRT,SMEARED ACROSS MY FACE , SOME SPRINKLES ON MY SHORTS AND OF COURSE ON MY ARMS. I HURRIED AND RAN INTO ONE OF THE STALLS SO NO ONE ELSE WOULD WITNESS MY GROTESQUENESS, PLUS I HAD TO STOP IT. I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE THE STALL IM SURE I MADE A MESS ON THE TREADMILL TOO. AND NOT ONLY HOTTIE BUT IM SURE A BUNCH OF PEOPLE SAW ME AND MY BLOOD MUSTACHE. NEEDLESS TO SAY MY WORKOUT WAS DONE SCREW WEIGHT TRAINING I RAN OUT OF THERE FASTER THEN A MAN ON FIRE. I DID GLANCE TO THE TREADMILL I WAS ON TO SEE IF THE HOTTIE WAS ON IT BUT NO ONE WAS, IT WAS THE ONLY ONE NOT BEING USED. I THINK THAT WAS THE CAUSE TO AT LEAST ONE OF MY MANY WORK OUT DEMISES.