SWEATING TO THE OLDIES

Here is a pic of some of my workout partners,some are shy like me but they are still able to spot me when i need help with the weights. I wore my " i break for clog dancing " t shirt and some adidas shorts got inside and jumped on the machine and as soon as i did that a putrid smell punched me int the face. It was the typical "old man stink" the kind of smell that u cant really explain but it definately comes from the deep dark pits of an older gentleman. It took me a total of 2 seconds to stop me in my tracks and jump off the machine, there was no way i would be able to do an hour with that smell beside me. I dont think the man was offended in anyway i just walked away feeling him staring my neck down,prob a racist bastard anyways. My cardio was uneventful no one really interesting to gawk at the hot black dude came by but i was done with my workout by then, i walked back and forth in front of him a few times to see if he noticed me,dropped my towel and such but it was a no go. Maybe next time i walk around in more than just a towel and see what happens. From the cardio area u can see the swimming pool and that can be interesting to watch at times. There are not alot of hot bodies that come through there when im watchin, its mostly obese older ladies that look like they are wearing their inner tube in the inside of their suit or men so hairy u wonder at first why are they jumping into the pull with an angora sweater on then i realize its his chest and back hair. i give kudos to the people that get in the pool and are overweight i way too shy and if i jumped out of the pool everyone would yell to put me back in cause they would think i was a huge humped back whale that was dyin on land. I decided to work on my biceps today for the strength training part of my day. To me biceps are boring because there are only so many excersies u can do with that muscle. I was on my last excercise i was doin sitting bicep curls with free weight dumb bells i wont tell you the lbs cause im shy however i was sitting in my chair watching my form as im performing the excercises when i looked down at my nunu in the mirror and noticed it looked like i had a mans package! i was utterly disgusted, it was all to the side like a real mans would be. I wanted to touch it to make sure it wasnt the mirror but then again i didnt want to be turned in for bein a pervert. I tried sitting differently and all together just ignoring it but of course im listening to my ipod and khia's song MY NECK MY BACK......song came on. i was finally done with my set and started walking out and i thought i wonder if people think im a tranny? i have pronounced boobs and when i sit i have a full package, whats a non tran girl to do?

COME TO LAGOON

I went to lagoon with a nice chum of mine, Chartruse. It was a nice day i didnt even get a sunburn. Im not a real big fan of lagoon because i usually need a vat o grease to help me fit into the rides, and carrying the bucket can be a major pain. The rides i do fit into how ever i always feel like the safety bar is going to give way at any moment and i will be sent flying to my death,freak accidents do happen and im just the one to have that kind o luck. i posted a pic of us to the left im the one screaming in the 3rd car.I really liked the roller coaster ride wicked but it took like 4 of the employees to scoop me out of the seat i was wedged in so tight. I think my fav ride was this water tube thing im not sure what it was called by u sit on a raft and go down hill in this tube thing i thought i was gonna go upside down just due to force of my girth. When i got out however my bowels were a lil loose cause i farted when the guy pulled me up. Not only did the ride serve as entertainmaint it also served as a water enema very refreshing. I also took a pic of my friend Chartruse who just converted to the muslim religion and decided to wear her religous garb that is the pic on the right oh and she is a lil shy. i tried to get her to take a pic of me but she kept tellin me the pic looked pitch black so i told her to bag it. She has also changed her name to ahhmeer pronounced "ackmeer" then u have to spit on the ground after u say it. All in all i had a pretty good time , yes my blanket was drenched as i left but i dont think anyone noticed.

IM WORKING OUT

As y'all can tell from my svelt body i love to work out. I work out at a local gym 3-5 times a week for about an hour an a half each session. I have yet to see any results. I was seeing the lbs slide off for a bit but as i was gobbling down a bucket o greasy popcorn everytime i got home i realized hmmmmm maybe i need to do more than just go to gym. I love to people watch, that is half the reason why i go well maybe 1/4 of it. I usually work out on the ellyptical machine with my head phones and watch whatever news show is on. I really do love to work out half the battle is actually getting my plump ass to the gym once im there im good. Anywhoo i was there on the machine jamming out to my music when i noticed this wanna be napoleon dynamite dude get on the machine next to me. He looked like maybe around mid to late 20's with a white headband that i think he got at the D I that fit tightly around his fly away locks, he had on black walking shoes with holes in it,green shorts from the 80's and a stained white t-shirt that was a lil too small for him. The thing that baffled me wasnt his garb it was his ipod he had with him. He was actually watching some asian anime on his ipod and was laughing his face off, from where i was i could see it to and it looked as stale as an old cracker to me. I didnt think anime was funny and i shirley didnt think people who were into anime worked out i thought they just sat at home on their computers so kudos for this dude. But as i was watchin him i kept thinking his ipod was going to come crashing to the ground cuz the cord going to his old school foam headphones was not that long and the more he moved the more i kept thinking there goes his life savings(ipod) crashing to the ground! he didnt seem to care the ipod was sitting on a small lip on the machine i was mesmerized by it. Then i noticed this black brotha get on the same machine next to ND, he looked nice in normal up to date work out clothes. He had nice dark skin and nice bald head to go wit it not that great of a booty but maybe that why he was on that machine. After i noticed him get on the machine im not lying like 2 seconds later i looked at him again and he was sweatier than a whore in church. His head looked like it had been basted for a turkey dinner, his shirt was drenched sweat was flying all over the joint, the carpet even looked wet. This was a skinny dude too. I thought any minute he was gonna slip off that machine. He got sweatier in 10 min then i did in an hour. So by then i had to focuses ...black guy slippin off machine and nerd ipod smashing to the ground. It did make the time go by but neither one of those things happend. I decided i had to quit staring at them or they would think i was some stalker. i turned my attention back to tv and noticed this show on channel 2 it was featuring feel good stories about people in america that do for others but could care less about them selves, i have never heard of this before so i decided to pay attention. They featured this lady who was in her 60's recovering from breast cancer and is an animal lover she takes in stray cats and dogs and bathes them . She had this ramshackled old buildin she was working out of and there were dogs everywhere. i couldnt hear the story so i had to try and read the captioning, basically due to poor economic times she had to turn people away and couldnt expand cause she couldnt afford it, i think most of the services were offered were from her own heart and she really didnt make alot of money off of it. Well someone nominated her to be the angel of the day and the news team got a huge new buildin for her and renovated it with up to date equip they decorated it with cute dog paintings and stocked it full of dog food and supplies, of course she knew nothing about this she thought she was just being interviewed for the show and thats it. Well they gathered all her friends and supporters and met her at the new digs she drove up in a caddy and came out bawling her face off. It was all donated free of charge. She couldnt even talk, she ,was so thankful and genuine. Little did i know my ellyptical was all wet too but not from sweat i had stood there for 30 min after i was done working out. It was my tears, i was crying like a baby......God bless u Madge and Chopper

BREASTS ARE THE BEST

as you all know i participated in the race for the cure on sat, it was a blast there were well over 18,000 people that attended. I ran for a friend that has survived breast cancer thank God i dont know many people that have it or have had it. It only took my about 30 min to finish it due to my long gazelle like legs and my lightening speed. i ordered a shirt that was xs but they were all out so i had to end up wearing the 3x. they had a lot of free swag there but nothin too exciting i did get in line for a free breast exam but the male that was giving it for some reason didnt put any gloves on and had me get completely nude in a port a potty it was a lil crowded but he said i was fine so that is a plus. during the race i had to dodge snot rockets, strollers, and slow walkers but i made it in record time and won the race and im not even part kenyan. if u look in the pic real close u can see me in the white shirt.